Spring Cleaning (Chronicles from the Not-So-Glamorous Side of Ski Racing)

I'd make a hard bet that just about every skier (no matter what age or level) has at one point in their life been excited to get OFF their skis when spring comes. For one precious month, goodbye are the early mornings, the pre-race breakfasts, the van rides, the never-ending exhaustion, the klister blisters, and the anxiety and excitement surrounding racing. It's (finally!!) time for a little freedom.

But WAIT.

Before we unleash the spring adventures and head out on our road bikes, mountain bikes, hikes, fishing trips, back country ski trips, paragliding (maybe?) trips, camping trips, or just straight up beach trips, etcetera... first we have to clean.

And no I don't mean clean our rooms, although most likely we'll have to do that too because the wear and tear of constant travel has probably wreaked some havoc on our poor houses. Nope, I mean the type of cleaning that we mostly always dread. It's time to clean our skis.

(Cue inward groaning.)

You might have to sort through the wax room first...
(This is a klister explosion.)

Why? By the time spring hits, our skis have possibly traveled all the way around the state, country, or world.  From freezing cold mid-winter conditions to icy, slushy, dirty spring conditions, they've really been through the ringer. The impact of being literally tossed around by airport workers (yep, watched a Fischer bag fly off the truck and onto the tarmac this year), being squeezed and squished into vans and trailers ("did I just hear something snap..? NAHHH"), being forced over rocks and sticks (maybe on accident, possibly on purpose, usually you have no choice), and being waxed and rewaxed over and over ("I'm gonna pretend I didn't burn that part..") can really quite literally hit your skis hard.

So when the snow melts away and the warm weather rolls in, it's pretty important to give those babies some love.  And although it might not be fun, and it definitely could take longer than expected, it will be worth it for your skis in the long run.  Protecting your bases from the summer heat, humidity, dust, and possibly varmints (gross) can actually help them stay faster in the winters.

So turn on your favorite Pandora station, sharpen your scrapers, and get ready to work.

It you have a lot of skis, it helps to lay them out according to the work that needs to be done. (I recommend making sure they're all actually YOURS before you proceed.) Race skis deserve the most care and attention, and if you're in a time crunch, do those first. Then comes the nicer rock skis, then what I like to call "dumpster skis" (skis you can cross pavement on without feeling one ounce of remorse).

WARNING: this process can be incredibly overwhelming, and maybe don't send your parents the pictures (hi mom!) but this also helps to narrow down what you actually need.

Yikes.

I also recommend removing all the bindings (if possible) because your skis will fit better in bags/lockers and it will be easier to pack them away for summer.

If you really really really really really hate cleaning kick wax, get this part over with first. Find some actually productive kick wax remover (the strongest stuff I've seen yet has been in the Czech Republic but we also thought maybe it was straight diesel) and REALLY scrub every inch of klister and kick wax off of those skis. Yes, that also means the sidewalls and grooves and tops of your skis, because everyone knows klister is like glitter; it ends up in the most random of places and it's a serious operation to get rid of it. (Don't try and text during this part, you'll seriously regret it and your iPhone will never be the same.)

Once the sticky stuff is over with, de-stick your hands (this is KEY), and start glide waxing. If you have skis that have been through some groomed dirt with patches of snow mixed in, you should maybe probably definitely hot wax them. Throw a layer of glide wax on, and scrape it off immediately. Watching the dirt and grime peel off with the excess wax is oddly satisfying. Also slightly repulsive.

After you've hot waxed, melt on a layer of storage wax that your skis can safely sleep in for the summer. (Seriously though, don't drop a lot of money on storage wax, all you need is a warmer wax to protect your bases. I like any of the Toko NF Line. No fluoros allowed.) Double check that your sidewalls are clean, remark your kick zones, triple check that YOUR name is on your skis, tie pairs up, and snuggle them next to one another. Aww, don't they look cute?

Shoutout to my cousin Matt Clarke for the
AMAZING wax apron!

Once your skis are all waxed up and tucked in, put them in a place where they won't fry in the heat for the summer. Does your garage hit a hundred degrees in July? Yeah don't keep them there. My personal favorite place has been under my bed, but the basement or ski locker room will probably do too.

You might think you're done, but coaches and wax techs everywhere will super duper appreciate it if you clean the wax room up after yourself. Yep. Sweep up the shavings, put a cap on the wax remover, and throw away all the paper towels full of klister.

3.5-ish hours later. You're DONE!

Get out and enjoy spring because before you know it your poles will be hitting pavement, and we all just looooooove roller skiing.