Paige Schember: Seeing Through the Frustration

I'm in the process of updating the pages on my blog (as well as writing a new post) and let me tell you this, nothing is more depressing than writing DNR (Did Not Race) next to almost every single race so far in to this season.

frustration

frəˈstrāSH(ə)n/

noun:

the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something

the prevention of the progress, success, or fulfillment of something.

synonyms: disappointment, vexation, exasperation, derailment

Frustration is an excellent definer when trying to talk about this race season (or lack thereof). I'd be lying if I tried to say I've been okay with it or that I've been positive throughout it all.

Thanks MTU Athletic Department for the sweet kinesis-tape job.

After a great training camp in Canada, I came down with what seemed like a brief head cold, but lasted for an entire month, resulting in harsh, endless, dry coughing. When that cleared, my ribs were left feeling sore. I blew it off, excited to finally be skiing and trying to play catch-up with the season I'd missed so far. But skiing only made things worse, and last week I was forced to face the horrible-sounding-music: I've strained some of the intercostal muscles that run between my ribs. It hurts to take a deep breath, breath fast, twist, reach, pole, and basically, to move.

Who the **** strains muscles in their body because they've been coughing so hard for so long? Apparently me, so that's cool.

After talking with Colin and Rick and Tom Jorgenson, who all offered endless support and a listening ear, we agreed that the best move would be to sit out on Nationals and head home to heal and relax.

As a professional athlete, racing is only worth it when you're at your best possible fitness, basically within feeling 5% of 100. Because we aren't skiing for mediocre results anymore, the only ones that count are the best ones. And if you step out there knowing that something can hold you back from performing your best (whether mental or physical), you might as well not even step out the door. Our racing reflects the work that we put in, but also the work our coaches, techs, teammates, and support systems put in as well, and we strive for positive results that reflect on everyone.

But being sick and injured for so long takes a toll on an athlete's mentality, as most of you probably know and might have experienced. It's really really hard to think back on all of the workouts you've done and feel that they're for nothing. You've worked your butt off all year, waiting for these moments, the moments where it shows and pays off, and then those moments are pulled out from under you because of things you can't (usually) control. It's honestly embarrassing to not be able to race because on paper it's just "a head cold" or "a strain", and to any doctor or any other person there are so many worse things in the world than what you're going through. And it's no fun to watch everyone race and fuel the competitive energy that runs within you, when you can't use it. You find yourself second guessing it; "Am I really coughing that hard? I haven't coughed in the last hour, maybe I can race..." or "Ooh well if I pole leaning to the right my ribs hurt less, I can do that for a 10k right?" or "This all must be in my head."

But I think part of what brings elite athletes to the level they are at is their ability to deal with setbacks and still find some silver lining or positive ending through it all. We all have our moments of doubt and uncertainty, I'm not going to lie. And it's way easier said than done to put on a positive face and focus on the future when you're thinking of the opportunities you are missing and the work that's going to waste. But in the grand scheme of things, this is just like a hard workout, and if you come out of it mentally stronger, it makes you a better athlete overall. If you let it break you and throw you down, that's when the sport wins.

So, while I'm letting these ribs heal, I'm working (as hard as I worked on my physical strength all year) on my mental strength. Forcing myself to think positive thoughts. Reworking how my brain is wired to view training and the season ahead. Finding ways to be excited about skiing again. Because there still are a lot of races left in this season, but if I don't think positively and productively, I won't see any of them.

pos·i·tive

ˈpäzədiv/

adjective

1. with no possibility of doubt; clear and definite

Some positives in life right now: